The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions
Note to self: when Blogger warns you you'll lose your settings, listen! I'm working on a new template, look, whatever... so all my links disappeared. Bummer. Stay tuned...
Otherwise known as: Histgrad 'fesses up.
I'm guessing this post will fade into the ether, since even my most faithful readers have certainly tired of my lengthy silence by now. I've reached a bit of a blogging crossroads for two reasons. One, the ostensible purpose of this blog is no longer relevant! And two, I'm about to experience another major change in my life.
First of all, I am officially, finally, certified, 100% GRADUATED! I am done. Finished. Finito. I am now Dr. Histgrad. After sprinting to my defense back in December, I took a few well-deserved months off. My committee signed the signature form, so I figured that I didn't technically have to make any changes that I didn't want to. Which encouraged my natural tendencies to procrastinate until sometime this spring. I got up the courage to take out my advisors' comments and I started to work on them. Thankfully they were mostly cosmetic and easy to implement. It was slow going because it was hard to justify putting tons of effort into something that 1) will probably never be read and 2) would be totally transformed into something else should I ever write a book. But I felt I owed my advisors at least a token effort to implement the suggested changes. So I formatted and edited and double-checked and measured and printed and re-printed... and voila! I was done. I was even able to use UPS regular delivery instead of the Package of Shame (Fed Ex.) So after years and years of never making a self-imposed deadline, I turned it all in on time.
And secondly, my readers can decide which is the greater achievement up to now, but... to make a very long story short: I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant! For those of you happily ignorant about such matters, that means I'm due to have a baby in about a week. Here's where the road to hell part comes in... I kept intending to blog and write and comment about this whole pregnancy deal, but the longer I waited to do so, the more it seemed like I should write The Best Mea Culpa Blog Post Ever. And obviously that never happened. It's like having an incomplete -- the longer you wait to turn in a paper, the better it has to be. Probably not the best mind-set to be a blogger, but there it is.
So I've really reached a crossroads in my life, now that I think about it. I'm no longer ABD. I no longer have a dissertation hanging over my head. I could pack up all those boxes and files and piles and folders and put them away forever. Hell, I could even have a big bonfire and burn them all! I think I'll opt for the putting-them-away option and see if I feel like returning to this someday and writing a book. It really hasn't sunk in yet. In the many years it took me to finish, I have had weeks or months when I didn't touch my dissertation, so it doesn't feel quite real yet.
And I'm also about to become a parent. A mother. Unlike studying for a test or training for a marathon, being pregnant actually doesn't prepare one for parenthood. I know, I know, on a hormonal level it does, but as far as Actual Preparations, being pregnant only prepares you for being pregnant.
If I can turn over a new blogging leaf, I think that "Eating an Elephant" still applies. I think that works with caring for a newborn. For teaching. For pondering how to mingle scholarship with teaching. And I've found this community to be helpful and supportive in all those things.
So hopefully this will not be the last you hear from Dr. Histgrad!